Sunday, December 6, 2009

Tis the season for self-reflection

Amidst the crazy weather and the approaching holiday season I love it when I get those moments to just reflect on the happenings in my life. Recently I was tagged in a note on facebook, and it really had me thinking. So I thought I'd share it with my FAB readers; Enjoy.



A time comes in your life when you finally get... when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out... enough! Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on. Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink and begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your awakening.

You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over the next horizon.

You realize that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you... and in the process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and that's OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.

You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself... and in the process, a sense of newfound confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you - or didn't do for you - and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and everything isn't always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself... and in the process, a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties... and in the process, a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with.

You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing, and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideal of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does NOT mean lonely.

You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say no.

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.

You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water and take more time to exercise.

You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels the soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline, and perseverance. You learn that no one can do it alone, and that it's OK to risk asking for help.

You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into it and through it because you know that whatever happens, you can handle it. To give in to fear is to give away the right to live on your own terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.

You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve, and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people... and you learn not to always take it personally.

You learn that nobody is punishing you and everything isn't always somebody's fault. It's just life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy, and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself, by yourself, and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire.

You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.



Thanks Sandra!
Stay FAB
SiSi

Sunday, November 15, 2009

My Name's Wale ~ Ba wo ni



So there's been a whole lotta buzz surrounding new rapper on the scene Wale Folarin. Yup his name his Wale (pronounced 'wɑːleɪ' NOT Whale or Wally)Ok now that that's cleared up, I'm not a huge rap fan but I definitely got swept up in the Naija-Wale-Frenzy when he featured on "Chillin" with Lady Gaga. Then when his remixed version of "My Sweetie" hit the net I was definitely amped up, souped face and all. So he had me thinking hmmm what else does this rapper have to offer? Is he claiming Nigeria or is he just appealing to us in order to increase album sales. So I listened to the album "Attention Deficit" One word...BOMB! Now to all my Nigerian FAB readers don't get all souped thinking this is a Nigerian Tribute Anthem Album, because it's not! But it is a FAB masterpiece in all lights as he includes his Nigerian Heritage, his African American upbringing, and his Street Swag to produce a compilation of songs that can appeal to a wide audience.



**FAB Shocker: amidst a whole bunch of hard core rap beats all of a sudden I hear Chrisette Michele's soulful voice (I'm a huge Chrisette Michele fan) The track titled 'Shades' celebrates the beauty in skin tone and is about to be the anthem for all those dark skinned beauties who are not interested in the multiple bleaching products filling the shelves at beauty stores (but I digress). For a debut album he sure did get the A class industry names on his tracks; Lady Gaga, Chrisette Micele, Jazmine Sullivan, Gucci, and many more!!



Some songs had me in deep thought, other's had me wishing I was at a Naija party, and some of them had me feeling like I was at a poetry reading. On his track "Prescription" he lets us know who he is, what he is capable of and basically that he's here to stay with a lot to say "I'm Hip Hops past, present and future" (Wale). Ok then Wale we're ready to hear more from you, Let's get it.

** Sidenote: Clearly this album was highly anticipated since people couldn't even wait til the album release date before leaking the whole album, but hey I'm not complaining, I've played the whole album at least 5 times already. I suggest you go get your copy!!!

Stay FAB yall!!

SiSi

Saturday, November 14, 2009

"Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man"



So a bunch of my FAB ladies have been telling me to pick up Steve Harvey's new book "Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man" now I'll be the first to say that I was a tad bit skeptical, because lets face it he is not exactly a writer or a therapist, he's a comedian whose been divorced and is now remarried, so what could he possibly tell me about men that I can't figure out myself??? Ok now I can honestly say that I was Dead Wrong! Now I'm not known for buying books and spending my weekend indoors flipping pages, usually I just wait til they turn it into a movie, but after listening to the Steve Harvey morning show on 107.5 fm I figured I'd give it a shot.



This is the official play book for Women! Even my mother picked it up and read the entire book in the midst of her busy schedule, now if he has my mom nodding away and flipping the pages of his book then that's all the proof I need, he really does know what he's talking about!



(http://www.essence.com/magazine/god_took_us_all_the.php)

And look at him now gracing the front covers of this months Essence Magazine; FAB!!! I guess I'm not the only one wishing I had his phone number on speed dial (as my go to man whenever I'm in a confused situation with men). For now I guess I will settle with reading his words of wisdom in this book, and listening religiously to The Steve Harvey Morning Show.



So to all my single, married, divorced, and taken Fabulous Women, please pick up a copy, and learn a thing or two about the men in your life.



Stay FAB!!

SiSi.